I think everyone wishes they could have a day off. A day in which they could go on a mini vacation, or finish up some projects they have to do at home.
I want a day off from EVERYTHING.
I want a day off from the fog. I want a day off from the suckiness. I want a day off from feeling tired all day long. I want a day off from pain.
I also want a day off from the big question of “What’s for supper tonight?” I am beginning to hate that question so much that I snap at whomever asks it. I am beginning to hate cooking. All I want to do is lay down in bed and sleep. All I want to do is nothing. But that isn’t in the job description. My job as mom, wife, and on and on.
This is what I always wanted to do. Be a stay at home mom. Take care of everyone and everything. Bake and cook.
But there were other plans for me. God had other plans for me. I haven’t quite come to grips of why He has set me on this plan, but I guess it is not for me to understand. It is not for me to question, even though I continue to. My faith is not helping me to accept this path. All I want to do is understand. I want to understand why this is happening, why I am allowing this disease to rule my life, run my life.
I also want a day off from thinking about this too.
A Journey of Acceptance With A Chronic Disease 